the empty chair

When someone we love transitions to the other side, the emptiness of their presence in our lives is devastating. There are constant reminders all around us, all the time that there is an overwhelming loss we will always have to deal with. Something as simple as the empty chair where they usually sat at mealtimes can be a trigger. I remember the first time my husband, my daughter and I went to a restaurant after my son passed, we were seated at a table for four. It was like a punch to my gut, knowing that fourth chair should be seated by my son. These triggers can be awful in our grief, but knowing they are a normal part of the grieving process helps. Sometimes it can be helpful to actually set a place for our loved ones at the table, especially when it’s a special holiday or family gathering. Putting out their picture and setting a place out for them at the table can actually be a new tradition to help keep them connected to you in the present tense. You can also set an empty chair out when you want to spend some time with them by imagining them in the chair and talking to them. They hear you, even just silently in your head. Try having a conversation with them in the quiet of your mind. Then sit quietly in your own chair and just listen. I bet if you just really trust, you can hear them talking back to you in their own voice. This is how soul to soul communication can take place. So the next time you want to feel a connection, try the empty chair technique to see if you can get a conversation started that will bring some peace and healing to your heart.